THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL WRITE ABOUT YOU

It's a Friday evening 

I'm home,still thinking about you,where would I be?

 Uh I would have been with you if we were still together right

Night dates,movie dates and many more date days

You remember my jungle green dress

Your favourite

My favourite 

 It's gonna take some time to adjust to the pronouns

From us to me,it's true things change

I deleted your number by the way

I lost count

This could be the   50th time,or more

I can't tell,I have it offhead remember??

This time it didn't hurt as much as it did last time,the last post was about you

I deleted it though,I sent it to you but I'm certain you never read it

It's all good 

It didn't hurt like it did on that day 

Today I'm smiling

I'm not happy definitely,you made me happy,but I'm relieved

Relieved of the weight of having to keep on asking you to treat me right 

 Pick up my calls

Call me

Or call me back

Let me know when you busy

Letting me know when you free so that we'd have a few minutes together

Or an hour

Just an hour 

Not much

But back in the days I never had to ask for all these

Damn what happened?

What happened to us?

I won't write everything today 

No more paragraphs

  I'm not the naive Girl you fell in love with or who fell in love with you

Today I'm writing this,as that Girl,yes !!

That girl you kept hurting

That girl you kept lying to

That girl you got mad at for letting you go

But don't you think you would have done the same?

I want to love myself in the way you did

I'm not even sorry

I played the weak girl too many times

 Some nights I cried myself to sleep wondering if I was enough,and those days I lied when I said I was fine

A couple of times

Maybe nine

My bad,I'm sorry 

I guess our story ended  so sudden yeah?

But that's how love is sometimes

I heard someone say love is expensive 

It is

It's not about booking flights 

and getting me flowers and my favourite ice cream

It's about giving your heart away,blindly or knowingly,while having echoes of your past haunting you down,but you still have the idea of"what if it all works out" and many more questions 

So you let your guard down

Even when you can clearly see your scar is still there,it never really goes away 

They say time heals all wounds

But why is mine still there?It's a year and a half now but it's still fresh

I'll taIk about it some other time

 I'll be lying if I said I have moved on,I'm still stuck on you

It's still you,maybe it's always going to be you

My playlist is full of sad songs and all of them remind me of you

 Where do I take all these memories?

They won't fade away in a day

I don't know man

I'll try

I'm still trying to let you go

So don't call me up,cause I'll pick your call

Don't ask me to come over,I will

Just don't 

I like me better without you

Or with you

Or both I don't know

I miss you though

But this is me saying  good bye

This should be the last good bye

I'll be fine

I mean there's no other way

I'm not done

I'm done with you

I meant I'm not done writing about you

Sober or not

I'll still say you still the one❤️

This is our story

Lost count

 of the chapters

I'll pick it up from here next time

I'm not done

Like totally done

With you

No with my story sorry

I'll still pray for you

That's love they said

There's just a lot 

It's a lot too

Bye!

Love Ivy❤️❤️